A Whole Bunch of Nothing at All!

Oops!

2006-06-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

I forgot to share our other bit of joy. Another child in the class tries to sing "We Will Rock You" but he has a hard time with the r sound and uses f instead. FREAKIN hilarious. And we were kind enough to warn his parents that if it sounds like he's cussing them out he's not. But still, funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

The Wow Factor

2006-06-13T07:23:00.000-05:00

I think one family (yay, there's one!) feels they get their $900 worth every month from us. They came to pick up their 21 month old daughter and she ran over to them and said what sounded like, "Mommy! Shot it paint like Mick al al o! Unna table!" which actually means, "Mommy, I (Charlotte) painted like Michaelangelo, under the table!" When I translated, her mom just stood there for a second and said, "Wow." At least I know THEY appreciate us now.

I'm debating setting up a new blog....just for the parents. With pictures. It would seriously add to my already full workload, but I think if I put something fun and a picture up there every day or a few times a week, they would appreciate it. Plus, they could leave comments and actually talk to each other! It would be amazing!

For Nicole, James and I are still together. It has been a rollercoaster sometimes, but I think all new-ish relationships are. We just moved into a newer, nicer apartment that the cat seems to LOVE. It has stairs for him to run up and down....the cat, not James. Uhh, yet.

Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayin' Alive!

2006-06-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, okay. I disappeared. Lots has changed since then. Well not LOTS, but yeah. Lots. When you last heard from me, I was an infant teacher at a Bright Horizons center in Austin. I'm still at BHFS, but I moved up with my primary children into the toddler room and most of them are nearly two. They are well past their first words and are speaking longer and longer and more and more sarcastic sentences. The highlights of my life right now include:

--Quitting my second job. Hallelujah for yearly raises!
--One child singing "We Will Rock You" by Queen all day everyday. (I have an audio file if I know you really well and you want to share your email address.)
--One child nearly potty-trained. She's wearing panties! And we're all afraid to let her sit in our lap for more than 5 minutes.
--A new coteacher that rocks my world. We are so much alike that we get on each other's nerves occasionally, but 99% of the time, we are totally on the same page. It's awesome.
--My first overseas trip is actually going to happen. I'm going to visit a friend (I claim no responsibility for the picture that pops up on his page) in the Netherlands for two weeks in November.

And I'm blogging again!

Whew! Whew! Whew!

2005-08-29T17:39:00.000-05:00

The accreditors came and left. It was a REALLY old lady that spent about an hour and a half in our room because she slept for about half and hour. You know how old people just doze off? She kept doing that. It was almost funny, but it made us nervous that much longer. We did fine, supposedly. Out of a possible three, my room got ALL threes. The other infant room got two 2's, because we rock and they don't. All the work and 70 hour weeks paid off and now I can sleep and sleep and sleep. Until Wednesday. Then school starts again.

This semester should be interesting, though. I'm taking Psychology of Gender, Ethical Analysis and Experimental Psychology. I plan to post more often, but I may not get my head out of textbooks until December. I wish my psych degree taught me something useful. Like how to deal with stupid new teachers who have to have "15 minute breaks for M, C, You and G, in that order" and "You are supposed to be next door until 9:30" explained fifteen times. Really. Then she broke our lantern! I was pissed. I fixed it and just glared at her for a few minutes...until she asked me what "infant breaks" means again, and I wanted to shoot her. It's Texas. We're allowed to shoot people, right?

Ack! I'm being forced to post!!!

2005-08-29T17:22:00.000-05:00

7 things I plan to do before I die

1. See Rome...the OLD part. Spend a day, or a week wandering around the forum
2. Have a family
3. Live somewhere other than Texas for at least a year, preferably overseas
4. Learn another language. Hindi or Hebrew or something in a different alphabet
5. Find a way to make money in childcare (if that's possible)
6. See South America...Belize, maybe
7. Make enough money to shop at Central Market and Whole Foods ONLY

7 things I can do

1. Teach daycare
2. Make friends in unusual places (i.e. the blogosphere)
3. Sing
4. Speak Latin
5. Stand up for myself
6. Handy type things. Fix household stuff, change tires, etc.
7. Cook some fantastic enchiladas, pizza and meatloaf.

7 things I cannot do

1. Eat anything the consistency of oatmeal, cottage cheese or tapioca.
2. Skydive
3. Keep my dining room clean
4. Get enough sleep
5. Be patient with stupid coworkers or any stupid people, really
6. Speak in public
7. Write computer programs

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex

1. Eyes
2. Smarts
3. Jawline
4. Sense of Humor
5. Smile
6. Taste in books and music
7. Anything that sets them apart from others...as long as it's not serial murder.

7 things that I say most often

1. Oh, hell (not at work...well, not out loud at work)
2. Huh?
3. Shh, shh, shh (when rocking someone to sleep)
4. Whosiwhatsit?
5. Makes me want to cry
6. XXXX (baby's name), I can't hold you right now. You have seven friends who also need my help.
7. Feet on the floor, not on the table.

7 celebrity crushes

1. Hugh Jackman, but only in "Oklahoma"
2. Anthony Hopkins
3. William Petersen
4. Jeff Gordon
5. Tony Shalhoub, but only as Adrian Monk. We're soulmates.
6. Michael Waltrip
7. Rex Harrison, Gene Kelly, Rock Hudson, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Donald O'Connor, and lots of other dead guys.

Boy do I suck

2005-08-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry for waiting SOOO long to post. I've tried to keep up with everyone else's blog at the expense of my own. Either that or I've been using my time with no school to do absolutely nothing. Take your pick. The accreditors didn't come this week. It'll either be next week or the week after. It only gets more nerve-wrecking knowing we're running out of time.

But good news. Our insane, really bad, lunch break person quit all of a sudden with no notice. Whew! What luck! She won't be there when the accreditors show up and we are ALL glad.

A coworker found out last night she's pregnant. That's just depressing. I hate watching people living my dreams. I sound selfish, I know, but I don't care. I feel like I'm wasting time and won't be able to get pregnant whenever it's finally the right time. It gets worse when someone I know is pregnant or has a new baby. People I don't see everyday don't bother me so much. But a coworker? ACK!

Still busy, but better

2005-08-05T19:56:00.000-05:00

I got most of a day off. I left at lunch, which for me is 10:30am since I get there at 6:30am. It was nice. Now we know when the accreditors will come. Sometime between August 15th and September 2nd with 24 hours notice of the actual visit. The administration assure me that my room will be fine. I'm petrified. What if my room is the ONE room that fails?!? Then I think...what if my room is great, and the others suck so we all suffer? That will be bad, too. I will be angry at coworkers I currently love. It's out of my hands, I guess. I just have to kick ass and hope everyone else does, too.

My schedule for this weekend:

Saturday: Work job number 2 from 8am-4pm then babysit from 6pm-11pm.
Sunday: Training for accreditation visit from 1-5pm.

And by Wednesday, I have to research and write an 8 page paper. It will be a fun weekend. But at least after that paper is done, I will be done for a couple weeks before fall classes start. I will never, never, never, NEVER take summer classes again.

To continue with the bitching no one wants to read about, today sucked. A little girl in the two year old class apparently slammed her own finger in the bathroom door with a teacher 2 feet away. It just happened so fast there was no time to react. The girl's finger needed stitches, which we have to report to the state licensing agency, so we'll have a licensing visit on top of the accreditors. At least licensing is painfully slow. They probably won't be out until next month. I also found out one of my favorite babies is leaving. Her mom feels like she is sick too much and doesn't want to miss anything. Now we have to miss it all. Blah.

Coming up for air

2005-07-26T17:48:00.000-05:00

Remind me, the next time I think summer school while working one full-time and one part-time job sounds like a good idea. Remind me about literature and trying to understand the psychology of religion in seven weeks, endless nights of less than 4 hours sleep (I'm going on 24 nights in a row tonight), a serious lack of patience when at work which makes me depressed and even less patient. Remind me of these things. THen kick my tired, white ass all the way back to my house.

I'm beat. Babies get on my nerves today although I noticed it more than they did. I asked for at least half a day off, preferably in the morning so I can sleep. We'll see if I get it. Our accreditation visit is coming soon, so they're not real generous with time off.

I want to cry. I don't understand why I can't just cry and have someone wipe my ass, hand-feed me, recognize and play my favorite games and rock me to sleep. Is that so much to ask?!?

On the upside, James got a job. WOOHOO! So my morning off will be interrupted by HIS alarm clock instead of my own.

Oh, Dear!

2005-07-18T20:44:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay. So many babies have been on vacation that I've been in the room alone. My babies don't like strangers, so when someone new comes in to do my lunch break or relieve me for the day, they all scream bloody murder. So I've been working LONG days. That is my excuse for 1) not being here, and 2) what I'm about to describe next.

So, it's time for my father's mother's family reunion in San Antonio. I'm getting all excited last week, because it was last Friday, right? So I leave 4 screaming babies right on time on Friday and come home, and we head out for the hour's drive to San Antonio. We get to my aunt's house, and James says, "Weren't there supposed to be like 50 people here?" And then it hits me. I grab the letter and read the date, "July 22nd." Then I try to die, right there in her driveway. Luckily, she wasn't home. We left and went down to the Riverwalk. I'm an idiot.

But I got an award at the staff banquet I didn't go to for the center! I don't know what it is for or what I actually get, but lots of people congratulated me. Yippee! Maybe I DO know what I'm talking about, after all!

Hey, you motherly types....What made you choose the childcare center you chose? Be honest...price, location, teachers, curriculum, spots open...whatever. If your baby's at home, what would you use to decide? More parent-teacher conference research. I appreciate all the help.

Blah...again

2005-07-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

I don't really have anything to say. Week from hell. Two summer classes overlapping. Two jobs. Busy, busy girl. I am still alive, though.

Nope, not dead yet.

Responses to previous blog/comments

2005-07-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

Other than the "acting out" question, which is a separate issue entirely, we do what is called documentation boards. We have detailed lesson plans, and every couple of weeks, we take pictures of the children engaged in one of those activities, whether they seem to enjoy it or not. We explain how the activity helps them reach developmental goals, and a little tidbit about what each child did. Our last one was about foam painting. One comment was, "Baby X watched her friends at first and then started patting the paint with both hands." Another was "Baby Y touched the paint with one finger, frowned, and walked away from the table." So we don't assume to know whether they liked it or not, just document what they actually did, but the parents get to see pictures. We also take other pictures quite often (and most of our kids bring their own camera for pictures). The parents like to see what's happening, good and bad. We had a documentation board about all the different ways our babies sleep. The parents loved that one. Apparently they all sleep at school differently than at home. We also do portfolios. They include everything from the intake interview until they leave the center. Artwork, pictures, developmental assessments, etc. EVERYTHING.

By acting out, I assume you don't mean aggression, per se, but more emotional displays or outbursts. Everyday we put two comments on their daily sheet. One is their general mood for the day. The other is either something out of the ordinary (acting out, fussiness, etc) or something new they tried/did that day, or something they particularly enjoyed. Our parents are pretty good at telling us what's normal at home, so we know what's not normal and can relay that info.

Thanks for all the input. I'm sure my parents will appreciate the extra ideas.

Whew! And AAAAHHHH!

2005-06-30T18:38:00.000-05:00

Good news, bad news, same news. My co-teacher who was out on medical leave turned in her two weeks notice! She's never coming back!! AAAHHHHH!!!

But I don't have to feel bad about changing everything in her room. Bwaahahahahaha! We've reorganized which kids are my primaries, redecorated, stole a kid from next door, cleaned out the cabinets, made a going away book for a baby leaving, and even hired a new teacher!! She seems nice. She's quiet, which we like in our room.

Sorry this post is so short. I don't really have much to say. I do have a question though. If you could suggest/ask one thing of your child's teacher (even if they don't have one. Think, people, think.), what would it be? We're getting ready for parent-teacher conferences, and I want to have information relevant to what parents might actually want to know at hand.

Dilemma #1.

2005-06-22T19:11:00.000-05:00

There are two infant rooms at my center. Ours is the cool one. We've got incandescent lanterns instead of flourescent lights, calm music (usually Dean Martin or Elvis), quieter voices, and because of all this, all the cool, laid-back, chillin' kind of parents chose our room. So we have the better babies, too. Yay, us!

Now begins the problem. One of the other teachers has her son currently enrolled next door in the chaotic baby room. He screams all day, but when he visits us, he's fine. She talked to the director because we have a spot next week and he's moving over next Friday. My immediate reaction was, "Well, his teachers just have to get over it. We're here to do what's best for the kids and families." But then I thought about it. His primary caregiver in that room is my immediate supervisor. She's the lead infant teacher. Eeps! I just hope they handle it well when they tell her and make sure she knows it was the mom's request. Then the problem is between them. I also hope she's not all resentful. I doubt that highly, though.

Sidenote: If you have some spare money and a good teacher/art supply store around, get some foam paint. It's the texture of shaving cream, dries in 3-D (but becomes crumbly after a few days), and kids usually like it. Non-toxic. It rocks.

Also, just give in and move to Texas. I want all your kids in my class. We're the rockin' class already, but wouldn't that be cool? I'd love it. Speaking of Texas...the little weather gal on my main page...her dresses just get smaller and smaller as the temperature goes up. I may have to take it down by August. It could be pornographic!!

Babies and porn in one post. Wow.

A fake post! Yay, me!

2005-06-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

Painting with spaghetti. Cook it, cool it, put it in a big bowl with some tempera/finger/other baby safe paint. Let them pick it up and do whatever they choose to do with it over/on a piece of paper. If you/they want it to stick onto said paper, add a bit of glue to the paint. But if you do that, use a bowl that is sacrificeable or wash it with HOT water immediately.

Children's art is about the process, not the product, so if all they do is rummage around the bowl with their fingers, great! If they make some masterpiece that would sell for $2 million, great! It's all up to them. If they DO make something, though, on paper, hang it up at their eye level or where they can easily see it. It makes them feel happy about themselves. Even infants.

Ahh, and I thought I wouldn't have time to post today. This was going to be a comment on the last post, but it's so long, I'm cheating. I'll write more later if I'm still alive after another research paper and three more stories read and critiqued.

Ahhh, Monday!

2005-06-13T17:05:00.000-05:00

Today was a glorious day. Usually days that begin like today don't turn out too well. I didn't get to bed until nearly midnight and I have to get up by 5 to get to north austin (aka work) by 6:30. So I get there, things are going like normal, my usual first baby arrives, cute as a button. THen...nothing...then...nothing...10:00am....nothing but one baby. I'm wondering if I should tell anyone and decide I should, since I'm new and don't want them to think I'm lazy. I walk up to the office with the baby on my hip and say, "Have you heard from any of my other babies?" And they say, "Oh yeah, one has a fever, two have dr appointments." And one is always out on Monday. So I'm expecting four babies. The healthy ones whose moms work five days a week. But no. I had two. The two easy ones. The one year old who's on a regular schedule and is the happiest kid on earth if you follow it and the 12 week old who eats every two hours and puts herself to sleep in between bottles. It was a nice day.

Mondays like this need to happen more often.

This week, our cool sensory activity will be playing with cooked spaghetti. I don't know what they'll do with it or if they'll even like it. But we'll see. Then we're using it to paint. I love to paint with babies.

Another Activity Idea, because I'm not creative today

2005-06-08T20:14:00.000-05:00

Fun, fun, fun. And educational!! We did this today with our babies, and THEY LOVED IT! I've never heard so much laughter, even from the littler ones, who just cracked up at the older kids going nuts.

Take a plastic dishpan and fill it with things that will either sink, float, or are fairly sturdy and tall enough to rise above the edge of the dishpan. Fill it with water (about 3/4 full) and freeze it. It takes most of the day to melt, unless you live in Texas, and kids can try to figure out all kinds of things. If we get a picture of the one I'm making for tomorrow, I'll post it.

Maybe I'll start a column someday...until then, I'll just answer questions from the people I know and like. It's easier that way.

Q & A

2005-06-05T08:11:00.000-05:00

Some question answering and some venting...

About the little boy who's always shoving or hitting someone in Sophie's class....If the teachers are just telling him to stop and he's not, I'd try to carefully watch what else they might or might not be doing to help him stop. They're 2-3, I'd presume. He should be redirectable. If they tell him "hands are not for hitting" or something similar, and they walk over, get down on his level and talk to him or try to get him interested in something else, my guess is they're doing all they know how to do and all they are able to do and this child is what I've always called one of "my special children," those uniquely challenging kids that you have to redo the entire schedule or lesson plans for, but eventually you figure SOMETHING out.

If you notice that they are just telling him to stop from across the room and not doing much else, I would check any parent handbook you might have gotten to see what their policy is on discipline. If you don't know and/or they're not following policy, catch the director and tell them about your concern. Your money, even if Sophie's just one child of many, pays those teacher's salary. Tell them that you've noticed that the teachers seem to have this problem with one child (DON'T NAME THE CHILD) and that it seems continuous and you're worried about Sophie picking up the habit. Don't tell them "I'm worried he'll hit her next." If you say you don't want Sophie to start doing it (even though she never would because she's an angel), they'll think you're a fabulously involved supermom or something and it won't really look like you're attacking that child. If that doesn't work, move to Austin! I spent an hour in our transition room (too big for toddlers, not ready for preschool, so 2-3ish), and saw no problems. The teachers were on the kids' level, and there were plenty of things to do. Everyone stayed busy and nonviolent.

We had a mandatory regional training yesterday. Now...if you ask childcare teachers who are exhausted, many who work two jobs to be at work at 8:30 on a Saturday, please, for the love of God, don't make them sing. We had to play one of those retarded team-building games. We had to come up with a name, a purpose, and a song for each group. No. Just no.

Oh, and the kids were good for me on my birthday! Three of them left by 3:00 and the one who eats the most often (and hence, usually gets hungry at the worst possible time) took a three hour nap. It was truly a blessing. And one mom spilled her life story to me. So if her baby wants to be held all the time and I know it's because they hold him all the time at home, I'm not complaining. She apparently lost two before she got him. I completely can't fault her for holding this baby ALL THE FREAKING TIME. He's special. Truly. Now I have one day to write a 5-7 page research paper and start another book that's due notated by next Monday. It's only 300 pages, and goodness knows I'm not a busy person or anything.

Time Flies...Not that it's THAT fun.

2005-06-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

I love my job. I do not, however, feeling like going to bed everyday when I get home at 4:30. That's just too early, even if I do have to get up at 5am. I do actually LOVE those kids. They grew on me fast, and they've been so good. I've learned some advice for you parents, particularly the ones who have kids in childcare...

If they get shots, and you're bringing them back to school immediately afterward, PLEASE DOSE GENEROUSLY WITH TYLENOL. We had a four month old get his routine four shots. He screamed ALL AFTERNOON. It was lovely. Then we put hot compresses on his legs and he slept....and slept...and slept. According to mom and dad, he went home, fell asleep at 7pm and slept through the night for the first time. Mom looked so refreshed this morning. I was happy for her. Still no Tylenol. Eesh.

Unless you plan on providing the teachers with a sling or Bjorn (and if they're allowed to use one), please don't carry your 12 month old everywhere. Really. Everywhere. He and I have apparently worked out a relationship where he knows I'll be there if he needs me, but he also knows I'm not carrying him around all day. I got my first "Kudos Letter" for getting him through a day without tears. It was his first. In 10 months. Poor previous teachers.

Otherwise, do exactly what the parents in my room usually do. They are great. They are flexible They understand that we have 7 babies to watch and theirs may have to wait a few minutes to be fed or changed. They have, for the most part, given birth to amazingly cool kids. The other infant room is NUTS. Those kids are some seriously high-strung kids. But they're not mine. Whew! Mine are great!!

Today was milestone day. One of them walked, and one crawled for the first time. The walker's mom said, "Please let me know if he walks. I don't want to delude myself." The crawlers mom ACTUALLY SAID, "If she crawls, don't tell me. I need to think that she saved it for me." Okaaaay, crazy. I understand wanting to see those "firsts" but really, we wouldn't have told her anyway, and to say, "I need this" is a little odd. At least to me.

Sorry I disappeared for so long. I really have been asleep most of this week. And lord have mercy, it's hot. Everyday, mid-90s. Thank goodness I have infants who don't spend hours outside everyday. I would die.

Day 1

2005-05-28T18:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I survived training day #2, actual day with kids #1. I wasn't in my actual classroom with my actual kids for some inexplicable reason. But I know the kids next door REALLY WELL, and I guess that's good. I found out which of the kids in the class are my "primary" kids, who I'm mostly responsible for. They're all but one of the ones I wanted. I'm excited and nervous about Monday. I have pages of notes and somehow reading them tells me nothing. I don't know these kids. I'm terrified. I'm hoping lots of kids are out of town so I can get some extra hands if I need them.

I also forgot how exhausting kids are! I came home from work Friday and went to bed at 8. Yikes. Good thing I go home kidless every afternoon. Kudos to all the moms I know. You guys deserve a medal or a pedicure or something! More interesting things to come, when I'm conscious and functioning again.

WOOHOO!!

2005-05-26T16:47:00.000-05:00

I cleaned out my desk. I gifted my miniature zen rock/sand garden to my boss, who needs it more than I ever did. I figured it would last longer on her desk than in an infant room. I don't actually feel bad. I just dread those "We'll miss you" moments coming rapidly upon me. Blech. Sentiment is not my friend.

I spent the whole day clearing things off the computer and all that jazz. What fun. On to bigger and better things!! Sorry this isn't more interesting. Get back to you kids tomorrow!

Stuff to Do

2005-05-25T12:57:00.000-05:00

There's nothing really worth discussing happening at work. So here are more fun things to do with babies and other kids:

Magic Texture Box (any age, but best for 4-18 months)

1 tissue box with a fairly small opening, but big enough for baby's hand
a bunch of bright, differently textured scarves or fabric scraps (you can get REALLY interesting textures in the scraps section of a fabric store)

Tie the pieces of fabric together and stuff them into the box with one end sticking out. At first, they might just like watching you pull them out, but eventually they'll want to pull them out and put them back in on their own. best thing? It's washable! And the tissue box can be replaced when it dies, which it will.

Sticky Fun (any age, they'll use it in different ways)

Clear contact paper

For infants, take the backing off and put the contact paper sticky side up on the floor. Tape it down if you want to leave it there. They can feel it, stick things to it, etc.

For older kids, either put it sticky side up on the floor and tape it down to walk across (some like this, some HATE it) or put it sticky side up on the table and let them create a glue-free collage out of just anything you have lying around, really. You can put another piece of contact paper on when they're done to "laminate" it.

Toddler Bowling (old enough to make a ball go the direction they want it to)

Empty soda bottles or the view bottles I described earlier.
A soccer ball, or something similarly weighted.

Set up the bottles, and see if the child can roll or kick the ball to knock them over. Easy and fun. You can change the pattern of the bottles around once the kid gets good at it for a challenge, or use a lighter ball or heavier bottles.

I'm so Excited!

2005-05-24T08:10:00.000-05:00

And I just can't hide it! I'm just full of bad jokes today. Anyway, I got to spend a little quality time with 5 of my 7 new daycare kids yesterday. I'm sure I will have fun stories to share. Here's a glimpse into my future (with no identifiable personal information, obviously):

E-girl-9 months old, looks like a little elf, the princess of the group
E-boy-10 months old, the stranger-hater who let me rock him for 30 minutes! Yay, me!
S-8 months old. Eats, sleeps, plays easily. The perfect baby.
Z-8 WEEKS old. Painfully pretty. Either Egyptian or Middle Eastern. Has cute babyfuzz still on her ears. Okay, ear fuzz isn't THAT cute, but I'm trying to convince myself so I don't have to consciously not look at it.
T-3 months old, REALLY sweet, but gassy. An adventure is in the making here.

There are two more, one of which I met last week, the other I've never seen. Since I'll be working the opening shift, I won't have many kids for the first hour and half...then things are nuts until 3:30 and then I go home. Sorry for the supremely boring post. I just don't have much to say today. Maybe the ghost will help me out. I want her to show herself to my unbelieving coworker. That would be entertainment.

Good News/Bad News

2005-05-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Good news: I got the result of my biopsy and everything is normal as suspected. I only have four more days of this job left and I get off early today to go VOLUNTARILY rock babies and wait to meet their parents.

Bad news: I haven't heard about my pap smear, so they either do the serious tests first, will need to redo it, or it's bad. I only have four more days of nothing to do but read blogs. The ghost changed her routine. Not just afternoon haunting anymore, but anytime she feels like it. I walked in, turned the light on in the work room and my office and while I was making a copy, heard *click* *click* *click* and all three lights went out. All the light switches had been turned off. Yippee....and I'm by myself until later this morning. I just left the work room light off. Maybe she's not ready to get up yet.

...........More

2005-05-20T16:01:00.000-05:00

I was going to comment and it started to get really long, so here's more explanation:

My boss and I have both seen a woman in turn-of-the-century clothing, usually brown or gray with long wavy auburn hair walking away from us. Sometimes into my boss's office, sometimes up the stairs, sometimes into the work room. Always towards an exit or a window. Always in the afternoon. On what we thought was a completely unrelated note, we have REALLY bad air quality in this office. By mid afternoon we have dangerously high levels of CO2.

One day a lady, after we'd seen/experienced/heard the ghost a few times, a lady came to meet with my boss who had no idea there was a ghost or air problems or anything. She walked in and said, "L (my boss), I don't mean to freak you out but you have a ghost." Then she walked through the three rooms that make up our office and said, "She wants you get out of here. She can't breathe." At this point L and I are looking back and forth at each other, slowly putting pieces together. The lady gets more panicky and says, "You need to open the windows. She wants you to get air." So they met upstairs where the lady wouldn't be freaking out....AND LEFT ME ALONE, but I'm not bitter. Now the windows don't open, our door is not external, and there's really no way to get fresh air, so we decided to live with the ghost. We don't know anything other than the fact that she always appears to be leading us to a window or an exit or opening a door, presumably to get fresh air.

We, in this office, are VERY good at coming up with stories about why people do things. We can watch someone having a conversation outside and have some elaborate life story written for them in five minutes. We think she lost a child, to SIDS, asthma, tuberculosis, or some other breathing/lung problem. She also only seems to appear to those of us in the office with breathing problems. I have asthma and L has had breathing problems since having her thyroid removed.

That's everything I know. We got ahold of the guy on campus who would know if someone had died here, and he said no, but that when the University was built, this was not part of it. This was residential and there's a creek nearby. Maybe her house was here? I don't know.

See what happens?!?!

2005-05-20T14:21:00.000-05:00

As I clicked "Publish Post" after writing that nothing was happening today, something happened. I'm not sure if I've mentioned our office ghost. There's a lady ghost. She's pretty and nice and we don't REALLY know what she wants, although a sensitive lady gave us a good clue. Just now, she freaked me the hell out, which is hard to do.

I'm used to seeing/feeling her walking through the office. I'm not, however, used to being trapped in said office by her. I am not a fan of being trapped. I'm not claustrophobic, but if I have one exit and there is something blocking it, my mind races. What if there's a fire? What if I just want to get out? AAAAHHH!!!

Okay, so I'm sitting at my desk finishing up my previous post and I hear and see the doorknob move back and forth and someone (something?) knocks on the door. We have heavy doors and people frequently knock instead of just barging in. My boss and I are chatting as I type and I say, "Come in" and nothing happens. There was one of those moments of eye contact where we both knew this was going to completely suck. She got up, opened the door and THERE WAS NOBODY/NOTHING there. So she lets go of the door that ALWAYS slams even when you don't want it to, and it starts to shut normally, but stops about 3 inches from the doorframe....and just hangs there for a good 10 seconds. Meanwhile, she and I are backing far far away from the door and I stop breathing, my heart stops beating, and I'm pretty convinced I'm having a stroke. Finally my boss says, "Come in if you want, but you're scaring us." Then the door shuts.

Rocking babies, here I come.

Science for Babies

2005-05-20T14:13:00.000-05:00

Since the majority of my readers have young kids, and I'm trying to reinspire myself, here's one of my FAVORITE educational toys for tots.

VIEW BOTTLES

Supplies:
Empty, clean, label-free soda/water bottles (not bigger than 20 oz.)
Food coloring
Sequins, shells or rocks (clean), marbles, anything lying around interesting to look at
Water
Clear Corn Syrup or something equally clear and gooey
Glue

Take a bottle and add some water/corn syrup and food coloring of your choice
Make sure that you don't make it too heavy, particularly for infants. Half a bottle of water is usually enough.
Add the sequins, glitter, rocks, marbles, etc
Glue the lid onto the bottle

It's a great toy that kids usually love and is cheap. It helps them learn sink/float, fast/slow (water vs. syrup) and they are just interesting for parents. One of my favorites is blue water with BRIGHT yellow thick oil (olive oil works well). They stay separated, but if you shake it really hard, they mix and turn green.

If you guys want me to find other toys/activities, I'd be happy to put one up every now and again. Especially on days like today where nothing's happening.

Something not so wicked this way comes

2005-05-19T07:42:00.000-05:00

I haven't heard from the doctor yet, and no news is literally good news on that front. Better yet, I found a way to go back to daycare! It may mean less blogging, but there WILL be cute baby blog stories! I'll be working at a Bright Horizons center in one of the infant rooms. I get the "good" shift from 6:30am-3:30pm. For a couple hours in the morning, I should just have a couple kids, as this class is apparently a bunch of late risers. Then I have lunch and get to leave before the late afternoon whineys start because they've been there all day. I just have to adjust to getting up and out of the house by 6am.

I'm very excited. If I'm in the room I visited before my doctor's appointment, there are some frighteningly cute kids in there. And the requisite one difficult one. It will be a fun, fun adventure! Now I just need to tune up my lullaby voice. Me me me me meeeeeeee.

Violated, Pure and Simple

2005-05-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't been around much. I tend to lose touch on the weekends and then Monday I had the gynecology appointment from hell. I LOVE my gynecologist, don't get me wrong, but she decided that I needed an endometrial biopsy (it's a technical link, but the most helpful for me) to try to rule out some form of uterine cancer or endometriosis because my cycle's all irregular and screwed up. Now...medical procedures don't really freak me out. But things that hurt...not such a big fan.

I'm not pregnant, I've never been pregnant. Things that are solid are NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH MY CERVIX. Once they completely pissed off my cervix, they sucked out some of the endometrium. Now, this is connected to my uterus. OUCH! The websites all say, "It will feel like a bad menstrual cramp, but will end when the biopsy is completed." RIIIIIGHT. My doctor was more honest. My whole reproductive system was HIGHLY insulted at the whole thing and it told me so. For more than 24 hours. Plus, I've never been aware of my cervix. Until Monday, that is. That is just a weird, weird feeling.

Next time something passes through there, it had BETTER be a baby.

Thoughts on American Lit/Dream

2005-05-13T14:44:00.000-05:00

By Michael Ventura in the Austin Chronicle (a rockin indy newspaper):

"That word again, "happiness," the pursuit of it, the American Dream. We never hear of "the ENglish Dream," or the French or Italian or Peruvian Dream. As though to be an American is to dream and to be stuck there, dreaming -- but, alas, only sleepers dream. It may be time to wake up. Interesting that our greatest and most wide-awake literary character, Huck Finn, cheerfully pronounced both civilization and the American Dream an exercise in futility, in which he had no interest. If the proper Widow Douglas was going to Heaven, he'd rather go to elsewhere. He frees his friend, the slave Jim, with a jaunty "All right, then, I'll go to Hell!" It is the noblest moment in North American literature. No wonder people still want to ban his book."

In Huck Finn's name, Amen.

Estoy orgulloso de Adan. I think.

2005-05-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

Adan is a baby that I had in daycare. He's 19 months old now and talking up a storm, really well, actually. Here are some examples from last night. He's bilingual, so some are sort of Spanish...

I want water: Keyro awa
The vacuum is off: mat-ume ayawof
Ms. Iris went home: Miris ahome
Sean's train: dawn choochootay
More water: Ma awa (I like that this is half English, half Spanish. He CAN say "mas")
Hi, Risa: Hi Misa
Bye Carmella: Bye Cabeda
Bye Kelly: Bye Caca

Great, this child who knows Spanish has decided to call me poop. I don't know whether it's an honor or an insult. His dad sure thought it was funny.

Reality Hits Home!

2005-05-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

My addiction has paid off! Come this summer, I can watch seven "adults" ruin everything I love about Austin. Don't get me wrong, I love the Real World, but seeing my beloved city through the eyes of the high-quality choices MTV makes might be depressing. I'm sure I'll watch every second anyway. *sigh* At least I've resigned myself to the inevitable.

Dear Lord God

2005-05-11T16:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdom to understand my man,
Love to forgive him,
and patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll beat him to death.

Amen!

(I wouldn't really. It's just freaking funny.)

Life Worth Living

2005-05-11T10:43:00.000-05:00

Getting used to living with someone has been a challenge. I used to take up the entire queen bed all night. I used to make decisions selfishly. I used to not worry if not shaving for weeks would run someone off. I used to spend the occasional afternoon reading in complete silence in the bathtub. But moments like last night make those sacrifices worth it.

James is a smart guy. Really smart. Scares me smart. So when he goofs, it's worth writing down. Plus, I have to have a bargaining chip of some kind. We were playing Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit, and FOR THE WIN, my British boyfriend gets this question:

William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor is better known as...

AND HE DRAWS A BLANK. He said "I don't know" and I lost it like little J with the duck quacker. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. He may live it down someday, but I doubt it. Oh, and I decided I'm going to call him Pepe LeBrit from now on, mostly because he hates it

Blah, blah, blah

2005-05-10T12:42:00.000-05:00

I don't really have anything to say today. I'm applying for jobs that pay more and actually require work, so wish me luck. I know it sounds crazy. For the first two weeks at this job I was little miss "WOOHOO! I'M GETTING A FREE PAYCHECK!" Then the boredom set in. It's mind-numbing, it really is.

Oh boy.

2005-05-09T09:11:00.000-05:00

I don't smoke, but I grew up in a smoke-filled family. I was all for the partial smoking ban that required restaurants in the city to either ban smoking or only allow it in rooms that had a separate air system. The restaurants complied and no one was hurt. But Austin voters just passed a TOTAL smoking ban. Clubs, restaurants, everywhere. Whether or not I like smoke, I just don't think it's the government's right to tell business owners whether to allow something or not. If some businesses allow smoking and some don't and I choose not to patronize the ones that do, that's fine. But forcing ALL of them to ban smoking just seems wrong.

One of the arguments was "Well, I'd like to take my child to some music events and the clubs are too packed with smoke." Okay. The lady in the picture had an infant, MAYBE three months old. I'm all for exposing children to a variety of music, art, and everything else, but does an infant REALLY need to be in a club? She didn't mention the restaurants that have live music. That makes sense. But a club?? I guess that baby will be the pub-crawl expert.

The Good Old Days

2005-05-09T08:52:00.000-05:00

I miss teaching childcare. If only I could make enough doing it to pay my bills, but that's an impossible dream. I had a "why do I work in an office" moment Friday night. I was babysitting for one of the coolest families on the planet. They have two kids. J is a two year old boy, really smart, really cute, and M is a six month old girl who FINALLY started sleeping through the night. Yay, M!!

So I was playing with J and he had a little duck noisemaker from the Austin Duck Tours that apparently he had never been able to use. After at least the 150th time he made me do it, I got a little light headed, so I handed it to him and said, "You do it J, just blow really hard." He did it, and it quacked, and he lost it. As soon as it quacked, it fell out of his mouth, he doubled over laughing harder than I've EVER heard a kid laugh, tears were rolling down his face and he laughed for a good 3 minutes. Then he'd try to do it again, but before he could even get the thing in his mouth, he'd start laughing again.

It was one of those moments when I wonder what the terrible twos even means. It was just beautiful.

Step 1

2005-05-06T12:55:00.000-05:00

Hi. My name is Kelly and I have a reality TV problem. I try not to! Every year I swear to myself that I will only watch the first episode of Survivor to see if there is anybody worth rooting for. There usually isn't. Then I watch the second episode because there is nothing else on and then I'm hooked. Same with the Bachelor. Same with Big Brother (when will this 'summer series' ever come back?!?). I've also been known to watch The Amazing Race, The Bachelorette, and any others that catch my attention.

This season, I'm rooting for Tom. I don't know why. I usually pick the underdog, but in my mind, Tom IS an underdog. By this point in the show everyone's sick of the powerful guys, and they get kicked out (a la Rupert Boneham, my favorite Survivor EVER). So Tom is my man. If only he didn't sound like Ray Romano.

Now I need to find out what Step 2 is, cause whenever I get to the one where I have to give up reality TV, I'm going to have a problem.

Multi-post day

2005-05-05T16:02:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if I like or hate this idea:

Virtual Doctor Visits at Daycare

I like the idea of parents not having to miss so much work for the everyday/minor things that kids catch at daycare. But I don't like the idea of adding to the workload of already overworked and usually underpaid childcare workers. It's complex. There are a ton of reasons for and against it. Hmmmmm.

Now I'm worried

2005-05-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

I was reading a one of those "You know you're from Austin, when..." sites and it reminded me to worry about our own local weirdo (well, one of them). I've seen the unicycling guy, the crotchless chaps guy, and Jennifer Gale, the city's transgendered, homeless perpetual mayoral candidate, but I haven't seen Leslie Cochran, the city's cross-dressing, homeless perpetual mayoral candidate lately. I like Leslie. His mayoral platform last election was that we should tear down every house in Austin and all live in teepees to save the environment. He got 4% of the vote, and we met during his campaign and he frequently greets me by name, much to the chagrin of anyone I happen to be with at the time.

Anyway, he is usually at one of a handful of corners on Congress or Guadalupe with his very large grocery cart turned shelter/protest sign holder/storage locker, but it's been weeks since I've seen him. Now, this isn't necessarily reason for concern. He's an Austin institution. Wealthy people in the suburbs hire him to house-sit when they're going out of town. He doesn't really have to beg for money because everyone knows him and chances are someone buys him a meal everyday. But the guy is homeless, not too stout, and his cross-dressing may make him a target. It is Texas, after all.

Hopefully I'll see him soon. I would miss him if he were gone.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

2005-05-05T11:31:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you're regulary exposed to someone that talks incessantly and sometimes makes you wonder if someone left the movie "Clueless" running in the background of your life??? The person who thought that all Catholics are Mexican is like that. AND SHE NEVER SHUTS UP. Everything sentence she utters has at least three "like"s and two "you know"s and at least one "or whatever"s. And she raises her voice at the end of every sentence like they're all questions. They're not! ARGH!! Right now she's bitching about how she lives in one of those crappy college apartments where you pay a portion of the rent for a four-bedroom apartment and roommates come and go. She just said, "Like, the new girl who just, like, moved in is a TOTAL hippie-weirdo. She eats tofu, or whatever, and we, like, totally don't get along." Well, duh. A NORMAL person moved in and she doesn't get along with your fake blond, stupid, better-than-everybody self? No kidding.

How do you handle people like that? Would it be bad to wear earplugs all day at work, and how would I hear the phone?

No one cares but me

2005-05-04T13:46:00.000-05:00

To continue with my completely useless obsession with public restrooms, I found THE ugliest one yet. In one of the Engineering buildings (but not the one that causes static cling just by walking past), there is a women's bathroom. It is a large women's bathroom, but that's all it's got going for it, because the WHOLE FREAKING BATHROOM (walls, floors, everything but the ceiling) is covered in 2-inch black and white checkerboard tiles. I usually like checkered things! I'm a Nascar fan and checkered flags are great! But I nearly got seasick sitting still. I had to close my eyes. Then when I got back to my office, my nose was bleeding. I'm sure the bathroom did it, somehow.

Traffic Safety

2005-05-03T15:18:00.000-05:00

I preface this with a disclaimer. No one was hurt!

However, I laughed my ass off today when a student was hit by a rather large delivery truck. The students at UT are idiots, despite their high grades. They wander across streets with the most amazing sense of entitlement I've ever seen! I think they are convinced that the 2000 pound cars and multi-ton trucks will just stop on a dime, because they saunter out into the road. Then the iPod came into being. Now we have entitled students WHO CAN'T HEAR wandering out into the road.

An office furniture truck knocked this "blonde" Barbie-looking sorority girl over today. It was hilarious. She flew back about four feet and landed flat on her ass. Oh, did I ever laugh. Once she got up and I realized she was fine, of course. *ahem*

Schizophrenics 'R Us

2005-05-03T08:04:00.000-05:00

I have the strange luck of running into people who could be textbook cases for schizophrenia. My latest encounter was actually a little frightening. It happened just a few minutes ago on the bus. She was going on and on about killing people...anyone really, whoever happened to bother her. Some guy sneezed about four rows back and she jumped up and said, "I'll kill you, sneezing on my food!" She wasn't eating. Then another lady bent down on the way to her seat to pick up some trash and she tried to kick her and said, "Stupid dyke, don't be rubbing on me. I'll kick you!" The lady was at least four feet away from her. What clued me into the schizophrenia was that she was having a great time, laughing at things that weren't happening and having somewhat coherent conversations with someone only she could see/hear. I can only assume those were hallucinations. Those were the coherent sentences. Here are some of the not so coherent ones, up for translation. They are all actual quotes. I didn't just pick random words from the dictionary and string them together. She may have, but I didn't (I just inserted what may or may not have been the intended punctuation in the pauses)....

1) Burn her ass up. Burn her up pleasant valley. Whole house yesterday.
2) I have mausoleums all over my house. The big man will kill the purple ones.
3) Praise the lord! We went back to Kentucky. (Note: We had just stopped in front of the capitol building.)
4) My name is T-A-N-R-A-E-F-L. If you can't know what that spells, I'll kill you.

I guess I'm a goner.

Texas and Texans...Yeeeeehaw!

2005-05-02T12:43:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend recently moved to Texas. Originally he's from England, so things here are a tad different. He seems to have adjusted to my family quite well, which I was confident about because he exceeds the minimum sarcasm requirement we have for admission into the fold. However, if I could give him any advice about living in Texas, it would be this: Just give in and learn to love it...

Learn to love that we have weather from March to November that causes body temperature to rise so high only an unheated pool or the 68-degrees-year-round heaven that is Barton Springs can lower it to a safe level (remember last week when you said it was hot and my response was, "WHAT?? It's only 92!!!" In April.). Learn to love that we have an unending supply of critters (a.k.a snakes, bugs, animals, birds, and some plants) that are scary looking, dangerously aggressive, venomous or some combination of the three. Learn to love that, although we are mere hours from the Mexican border, we mangle the Spanish pronunciation of everything we can here in Austin and call it tradition. Learn to love that we have the constant threat of severe thunderstorms and tornados 6 months of the year. Just learn that "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. Learn to love that to you, in England, a four hour road trip in three of four directions, would land you soundly in the ocean, while to us Texans four hours is half a daytrip because our state is something obscene like 16 hours north to south and east to west. Learn to love that more often than not, someone will ask you for a Coke and not actually mean Coca-Cola, but usually Dr. Pepper or Pepsi. Learn to love that you can be officially married to someone by introducing them as your husband or wife three times in public. Learn to love the fact that we passed a concealed weapons bill that allows people to hide the guns they used to hang in gun racks in their rear windows. Learn to love that Texans DO in fact remember the Alamo and WILL cry if they visit it. Easier than the above list, learn to love the best Mexican food in the world, great live music (not just country), fabulous beaches, great shopping in Mexico (a short 6+ hour daytrip away), every landform imagineable including mountains, a desert, beaches, forests, swamps, and the beautiful rolling hills of Austin, and the fact that Texans (although most of them bear arms) are among the nicest folks you'll ever meet and once you're here a while, you'll find it hard to leave.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Annoying chic

2005-05-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

If any of the three people who read this occasionally know this lady, I apologize already. Have you heard they found the lady "missing" from Georgia and that she had just run away?? Now, I understand getting cold feet. Men can be quite scary. But if I did that to my family, and they thought I was kidnapped and it turned out I wasn't kidnapped and/or murdered, they would TOTALLY murder me! I can't decide whether to laugh at the fact the DA's office is considering bringing charges against her for faking a kidnapping, scream at her for freaking out her family, friends, and the whole country, or cry for her because she got so scared that her only choice was to run away.

I don't know whether she had a really good reason to run. Maybe the guy was abusive, maybe she didn't really want to marry him but was pressured to by her family, maybe she's just nuts. It just seems selfish to hang out in New Mexico while the whole country thinks she's been kidnapped or murdered.

Pardon the rant, I had to get it off my chest.

Completely pointless.

2005-05-02T11:13:00.000-05:00

This post will probably be neither funny nor interesting, but oh well. Something caught me as odd today. A few things did, but we'll just start at the weirdest.

I'm a college student and I work full-time. It's a fun challenge to find time to do ANYTHING. I figure I'm practicing for having a baby. Anyway, to finish up as quickly as possible and before financial aid maxes out, I've started taking classes at my private university and the local community college. I registered for both sets of classes today and received the fee bills via email within seconds of each other. Now...I'm taking 6 semester hours at each school, and here are the totals:

St. Edward's University: $3192.00
Austin Community College: $368.00

Until I started looking into taking community college courses, I don't think I had really spent any time thinking about how much my fancy SEU education was costing me. Now I'm just depressed.

Oh! Great Plutus! Or Hades! Or Ops!

2005-04-29T15:01:00.000-05:00

I tried to figure out who the Greek/Roman god of wealth was, but I got a different answer on every page. Anyway, James had his first interview today. Actually, just a few minutes ago! He seems all cool and collected. I, on the other hand, probably resemble a bowl of jello dressed for office work. This job seems alright...working in a computer lab on a university campus couldn't be THIS bad could it?

I'm sure he was all smooth and charming and impressive, since we Texans tend to attribute these qualities to anyone with a foreign accent (except New Yorkers). The job is at night. This is good and bad. I mean...we won't see each other much on the weekends because we'll be on opposite schedules and that's bad. But we both will get the WHOLE bed to ourselves most of the time, with time where sleep overlaps to share it and this is good, as anyone dating someone taller than the average giraffe who likes to spread out into a gigantic X in the middle of the bed knows.

So, folks, if you could pray, meditate, fast, breakfast, dance a jig, or do whatever it is your people do to wish someone luck, I'd appreciate it! We really could use the money and the cat (same breed, similar markings, but not my cat) is probably ready to be alone SOMETIMES.

Ardal O'Hanlon

2005-04-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

I have a new hero. Now, I have to preface this post by saying that by nature I'm a very tolerant person. People listening to loud music next door, outside, on the bus...they don't bother me. People needing to observe some religious duty don't bother me. In fact, I was one of two non-Muslim students who fought for the right of a Muslim student to miss class to pray, like he was REQUIRED to do....anyway, back to my hero story. I can handle most things. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who can't talk on their cell phones without screaming, particularly early in the morning, on the bus.

There's a lady we have come to call the "Lord God Lady" on my regular morning bus. I get warned by the bus driver when she's there, thank the Lord God, so I know to sit at the very front. She gets a phone call EVERY morning between 7 and 7:15 that she manages to keep quiet until she starts praying at about 7:20. And this woman is a praying fool, I tell ya. She starts at 7:20, gets louder and louder and LOUDER the whole time, until she usually stops abruptly at about 7:40 and just continues her conversation. I may even be able to tolerate this if every third word out of her mouth wasn't "lord god," but that just pushes me into the abyss of teeth-grinding, head-banging-on-the-window frustration. This goes on for a good 15 minutes this morning. People unfamiliar with her are staring, laughing, and the regulars are cringing and trying to ignore it AGAIN.

My hero is this kid who was about 18 (he looks a lot like this) who gets on the bus right before the praying starts, most days. As soon as she starts, he slaps his forehead and puts on his headphones. Apparently the Lord God Lady is louder than I gave her credit for because after about 10 minutes, when everyone inside and outside the bus was hearing her pray for someone named Sarah who's in prison, this kid pipes up and says:

"Lord God, please give this women the gift of silence, lord god. Lord god, if she keeps going any longer, lord god, I'm going to strangle her, Lord god. Lord god, you know I'm usually a nice person, lord god, but (and he starts yelling) LORD GOD, THE REST OF THE PEOPLE ON THIS BUS, LORD GOD, WANT TO QUIETLY GET WHEREVER THEY ARE GOING, LORD GOD, BECAUSE IT'S SEVEN FUCKING O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, LORD GOD!

Then there was a boisterous round of applause from everyone on the bus, including the driver. The Lord God Lady got much quieter, I heard a few more Lord Gods from her and an Amen and then she started her conversation back wherever it was. I almost felt badly for her. She was probably embarrassed, and she TOTALLY has the right to pray on the bus if she feels like it. But those of us who like to read or sleep or do anything but listen to someone screaming at God finally got half a bus-ride in peace.

Thank you, Lord God.

And they manage to remember to keep breathing?

2005-04-27T16:48:00.000-05:00

Stupid things people have asked me in the last two weeks:

1. Aren't all Catholics Mexican?
2. (After intentionally purchasing a PC, not a Mac, MONTHS AGO) How do you delete stuff? I don't want to recycle it, just delete it.
3. Portugal's in Africa, right?

Now, three things may not seem like many, but the severity of the three speaks volumes. Isn't the Vatican in ITALY?!?! Did they move the whole thing to Mexico City and I didn't notice? The second and third I can't comment on. If I think about them long enough to form a reaction, my head will explode. And that may be bad, considering my office has carpeted walls.

My last idea....obliterated.

2005-04-26T13:26:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally found a way to pass the boredom of a long day. And then I found out it had already been done. UGH!!!

Less interesting than bathrooms in Texas...

2005-04-22T11:16:00.000-05:00

Since things have actually happened in my life in the last few months, and no one REALLY wanted to hear about bathrooms in Texas, I'll talk about myself.

My boyfriend, James, moved to Texas, FINALLY. Things are good. It's a big adjustment going from me and my cat, to me, him and the cat, but he's handling my unprecedented ability to be a pain in the ass quite well. Like last night. For some reason we weren't satisfied by watching CSI, and started a tickling/poking fight. Now, I think the only person who hates being tickled worse than me is Dooce. We were on even ground until he said, "Now who do you think won that?" To quote an over-used movie line, big mistake. Big. Huge. The only logical solution to his thinking he had won was obviously to pause the live TV he was watching and lock myself in the bedroom with the remote until he gave in. The sigh heard through the door made it all worth while. Then, just to reinforce the punishment, I made him watch some of My Fair Lady with me before bed.

I was abducted by aliens in December and they just brought me back!!

2005-04-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

See what happened? I tried to be creative and interesting, and then failed miserably. I've been inspired by the nextblog feature, found some new interesting people who have irresistably cute kids (Thank you for making my ovaries kick my ass daily by sharing photos of said cute kids), and decided I might actually give this another go.

So....the promised restroom rankings (not so much rankings as comments)....

If you're ever in Austin, TX, here's my advice:

1) On the UT campus, the ACES building has kickass bathrooms. They're clean, big, and the toilet seats are actually comfortable.
2) Also at UT, if the building is older than my mother (dob 1944) the bathrooms probably haven't been remodeled. Battle Hall sends you back in time as soon as you walk through the door that says "Women's Cloak Room." Then you find a bathroom with TINY marble stalls. I don't think the cute kids I've seen in other people's blogs could walk in those stalls and shut the door without performing acrobatics. Then you sit on a porcelain toilet with a WOOD SEAT. Is that REALLY sanitary?!?!?!
3) Stay far far away from grocery store bathrooms. Everytime I go in them, I find a full diaper, used pads/tampons or something equally unattractive sitting on the floor (or worse the back of the toilet).
4) If you're on a road trip or just unfamiliar with Texas, the best places to try for decent bathrooms are Whataburgers, Dairy Queens, or other similarly traveler-friendly fastfood places.

Something more interesting next time....I swear.

2004-12-21T13:05:00.000-06:00

Coming Soon to a blog near you....

Restroom Rankings!!!!

I've joined the insufferably vain.

2004-12-20T13:03:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure why I'm doing this. I actually hate blogs. I know lots of people who have them, but I only like reading two of them. I read www.suprslicr.com because it is freaking hilarious, and I read statusnil.blogspot.com because if I didn't, I would really never be sure he's still alive.

So here I am. I live and work in Texas. If you didn't deduce that from the URL, you should stop reading, as simple logic seems to be hard for you. I have an office job that lends itself to time spent staring at a computer with nothing else to do, so I decided to try being creative/fruitful for a change. I process vouchers....ALL day. I type in a bunch of numbers and people I will never see get checks for thousands of dollars. But the pay is ok.

I have a boyfriend. He's great. I finally managed to convince him that I was alive 2 years and 2 months ago, after having a crush on him since 1996 or so. I have the patience of Job, apparently. He's British. I love that. I actually have a lot of "international" friends. Holland, England, Canada, New York (yes, it's foreign to us Texans). I'm very lucky to have the friends that I do. They're more supportive than you can imagine and I'm always ok with them.

If I think of anything interesting to say I'll post later.